Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. – Lao Tzu
Leadership is about influencing others. Being able to guide, mentor and develop others to grow and evolve and bring out the best in people are traits of successful leaders that are well known and documented.
Traditional leadership development often focuses on helping leaders to be successful by learning actions that they can take with them back to their job. For example, it teaches the correct use of leadership behavioural skills and competencies as the basis for action, such as team building, conflict resolution, problem solving, brainstorming, resilience, negotiation and coaching.
Why is it then, that so many organisations are struggling to develop effective leaders with all the money, time and resources put into traditional leadership training?
According to a report in Forbes from 2019, $366 Billion is spent on leadership development globally, yet data shows that the majority of leadership development programs fail to get the desired results.
Why, if leadership development is meant to be so effective, are organisations crying out for better competencies within their leaders?
Because people are trying to fit actions into their toolbox, when at a core level, they have yet to master themselves. Content will only take a person so far, when the individual context is far more important.
People are trying to know others, know the tactics, behaviours and strategies to get results but they have not done the work to know themselves.
Leadership tools and strategies will help a little, but are far from effective if internally people are struggling with self leadership and personal mastery.
How can you expect a person to thrive and bring others along with them if they lack the self mastery required to truly step into their power as an authentic leader?
As Lao Tzu said, the ability to master others is certainly a strength – being able to influence how they connect, how they act, how they cooperate, how they are motivated, how they respond to certain situations. Yet far and away the most important trait of the successful leader is the ability to master oneself.
Of course, in reality, we can never truly master ourselves. We humans are a work in progress, from cradle to grave, and anyone who thinks otherwise, knows little about themselves.
What we can do though, is continue to work each day on bettering ourselves – as humans, individuals and leaders – at the same time as understanding that we are just like everyone else, with flaws and imperfections. This is one of the characteristics that makes a great leader.
“Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is a fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.” – Elif Shafak
Socrates is quoted as saying “to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom”.
This can only be done from the inside out.
I’ve written before that self awareness is one of the most important traits of leadership, particularly the Quantum Leader. Self awareness is an important skill that we can cultivate to help us progress on our personal development journey, and we could all use a little more of it sometimes.
Self awareness is the ability to be aware of one’s inner life – one’s emotions, thoughts, behaviours, values, preferences, goals, strengths, challenges, attitudes, mindsets, and so on – and how these elements impact our behaviour and choices across different contexts.
If you’re highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behaviour with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.
But how does one develop self awareness?
It requires shifting our locus of control from the outside to the inside.
One must first BE a leader on the inside, before we can BECOME the leader on the outside.
One must first BE a leader on the inside, before we can BECOME the leader on the outside.
So how do you lead yourself?
It requires us to elevate our thinking beyond that which we know. It requires us to think above the crowd. It requires us to become observers of our own life, in order to be able to learn who we are.
Ask yourself, are you aware of your values and your motivations?
Are you aware of your paradigms and belief systems?
Are you conscious of the stories that play out in your life about yourself, about others and about your reality?
With self awareness comes self responsibility and self management.
Are you trying to lead others yet finding it difficult to manage your own attention and your emotional state?
How can you expect your team to show up and work in line with the vision and values of the organisation or the team, if you, yourself are operating out of alignment with your values.
How do you think others will respond if you’re constantly in a state of doubt, anxiety and stress?
If you’re constantly judging others about their work, where in your life are you judging yourself?
If you’re critical of others, where in your life are you critical of yourself?
This deep level of personal self-responsibility is part of the vulnerability of being a true leader.
This is what will take you to the next level as a leader. To move from leadership action, to BEing a leader.
Becoming a Quantum Leader requires you to do the deep inner work so that you can really embody what it means to be a leader.
This requires listening to your inner voice, forming a relationship with yourself and embracing not just the light parts that feel nice, but also going into the deepest and darkest depths of your Being, to meet and welcome all the aspects of yourself so that you can transform those to help you step into being a leader and showing others what it means to BE a leader.
It requires self acceptance, self awareness and a desire to do the work required so you can truly lead others in an authentic way.
Being a leader requires self acceptance, self awareness and a desire to do the work required so you can truly lead others in an authentic way.
This is the true process of transformation and unlocking the hidden leadership potential within yourself and others.
Getting super clear on the stories, patterns, language, habits and behaviours that drive your life and becoming aware of those that do not serve you and changing those so that you can lead yourself.
Inspiring and leading others through your own personal growth and transformation will help others to unlock their hidden leadership potential.
It will help them to break out from behind the stories and lies they tell about themselves and what they can and can’t do.
There is nothing more powerful than being able to influence others in a way that supports creativity, development, growth and a positive outcome for all.
It starts from the inside out.